2009 in bills

As 2009 draws to a close, one more big-ticket item had to break on me. My camera, which took more than 4,000 shots in 3 years across 14 or so countries, busted its screen this weekend.

In a year of car towing, engine blowing, check frauding, punk jumping, root canaling, hard drive crashing, iPod dying and snail eating, a screen cracking was not a big deal when I heard it burst.

But maybe it's because also in this year I've been to Hawaii, Disneyland, Lake Tahoe, Hearst Castle, The Grand Canyon, Union Square, DC, Vegas twice, The Grand Del Mar, Muir Beach, Santa Cruz, Wente Vineyards, Dolores Park, Shaiya's engagement party, the nursery, my backyard, Golden Gate Park and three new years parties.

Happy Holiday Party

So last night was the office holiday party. Let me just say it was the biggest shitshow I've been to in a long while (including Athena's wedding, where JoNelle and I were the only ones to make scenes).

Various coworkers were out of it or belligerent, particularly at the after party, but I'll spare them by not mentioning any deets here.

I will however, as a service to myself, update my list of cars driven. Throughout the day I had 3-4 glasses of wine (it was a long day) so I became the designated driver and had the opportunity to drive the 2009 BMW, which was a manual that handled swimmingly, and the 2006* Subaru, which are both now listed below.

2008 Dodge Caliber (rental for work)*
2008 Mustang (rental)*
2009 Lincoln Towncar (rental for work)
1994 Saturn SL2 (my car)
2000 Ford Focus (Jeff's car)*
2000 Saturn SL2 (mom's car)*
1985 Ford F-150 (dad's truck)
1992 Saab 900 (mom's old car)*
1990 Taurus station wagon (mom's old car)
1983 BMW 318i (Athena's old car)
1996 Buick LeSaber (Grandma's car - I took my driver's test in this one)*
1995 Nissan Altima (Driver's training car)*

2006 Volkswagen Jetta (Narges' car)
2008 Saturn Astra (Jon's car)
2003 Saturn Ion (Jon's old car)
1985 Ford Bronco (Nick's car)
2005 Toyota Echo (Nick's old car)
2002 Saturn SL2 (Jessica's car)
1998 Honda Civic(Kate's car)*
2000 Saturn SL (Dana's old car)*
2006 Mazda 3 (Dana's Car)
1999 Nissan Maxima (Matt's (possibly old) car)*
2004 Nissan Sentra (Mary's car)
2009 BMW 328i (Melanie's car)
2006 Subaru Outback (Ginny's car)*

1993 Honda Elite 80 (My scooter)
2004 Suzuki SV-650 (Mike's bike)

U-Haul (small box) to LA - June 2006
U-Haul (medium box) to Bay Area - August 2007
U-Haul (F-150) to Woodbine St - June 2006
U-Haul (F-150) in LA - Summer 2008

2000 Ford Aerostar - New Flower Van*
1990 Ford Aerostar - Old Flower Van*
Long panel van - Rented flower Van

1995 Honda Elite 50 with a broken front shock (test drive)
1996 Saturn SL2, fuchsia (test drive)
1974 Ford Bronco, so cool but gas guzzly (test drive)

Sexpigeon has infected my thinking

One day, when I open the door to the office bathroom and the lights have been off due to inactivity, as they flicker on I know I will find a dead old man sitting on the toilet.

I'm always mentally prepared to check his pulse and dial 911 on my cell phone, but will I pull up his pants for him?

Where'd the poo go?

So a dog keeps shitting on the sidewalk in front of my building in the mornings. It's either the same dog or a different dog that is the same size and has a very similar diet/digestive system.

The owner of the dog did not pick it up (I know it's not a stray cause if it was, surely one of the craftier hobos in the neighborhood would have caught him and either tamed him or feasted upon him) and there are no dogs in sight as I walk to my car to head to work.

Then after work... it's gone. Did one of the crafty hobos make something out of it? There are no smears on the ground, and it wasn't in a place that would easily get stepped on (kind of by a tree).

Where's the poo going?

--

My life in dreams part II

My dad and I were walking around the corner from his house to the Boys Club. We had our shotguns (we don't own shotguns - or at least, we don't own two) and were going to some kind of gun show. I have always wanted to shoot a shotgun, preferably at a clay pigeon off the back of a huge ship or at a T-1000 in some kind of steel mill where I can melt him and not get sliced by his daggerhands. But I digress.

We were in the Boys Club gun show* when suddenly we weren't anymore. We were walking in the snow, down a long fairly flat slope in the mountains. My view was like a Lord of the Rings shot from a helicopter of us approaching the base camp. We were, I think, about to climb K2. In my dream version of K2, you can see Everest and really it didn't look that much taller than K2. Then from the top of Everest (I know I skipped a part, but what do you expect, I was asleep), all the other mountain tops didn't look that low beneath us.

I've done some Wikipedia-ing, and it's clear that I don't understand the concept of mountain prominence. Because apparently, Everest is entirely prominent, all the way down to sea level, which is 600 miles away. I would think "prominence" means how high up you are while on the top compared to your surroundings. For example, Lake Tahoe may be at 6,000 feet above sea level, but when you're sanding there, it looks like zero.

Based on my view from Everest this morning, it's prominence is more like 2,000 feet, and not 29,000. But maybe it was just cloudy this morning, so I couldn't see.

This is the north side of K2. I was on the south side, but this picture is cooler.

*Please note the Boys Club doesn't actually have gun shows.
--

Red Book Chronicles

Earlier this year I was helping my mom convert my childhood room into a library. We were going through a bunch of her art projects, scraps and notes when we re-found the legendary shopping list. It was for groceries, but right at the bottom, scrawled in her familiar hand writing, were the words "static electricity." No one knows why it was, nor are we surprised that it was on her list. Also lost to time is whether she indeed got her static electricity on.

But I make lists too. I have a little book, which I got on one of Andy and my strolls up Polk in the first few days of this year. It's nearly full now, and it's great fun going through it.

Similar to my Overheard Poetry (which seems to have been rejected by The Paris Review) some of the entries would make for great poetry readings, but all paint a kind of vague picture of what I did in the past yearish.

The Red Book Chronicles: Zac's 2009 in notes (How You Measure A Year In the Life) Annotated version -- denotes a page break

1/31/09
Walk up Polk
Bell Tower Bar ->Looks awesome (Written the day I got the booklet. I would later go there, try escargot, and have a horrible allergic reaction)

"The Real Trial of Oscar Wilde"
-By Merlin Holland

"Interpreter of Maladies"
-By Jhumpa Lahiri

"Special Topics in Calamity Physics"
-Marisha Pessi

--
COD: WAW
Jitterbug
W
Tamales
Laundry
Anita
Swim
Run
Sam Adams Beer

Black Silicone
Shampoo
Cleaner of some kind
Cash
--
Alamoana plate lunch

--
Books
Snorkely
Blank CDS
(The above list was a to-get from parent's house)

Books
CDs
sunglasses
camera
charger
ipods
cord for comp
west wing
--
Olives
tomatoes
cucumber
club soda
vodka
mint + lemon?
hummus + pita
Pasta
sauce
lettuce


Lost
HIMYM
FNL
Everything... (is Illuminated, film)
30 Rock
--
(Narges' handwriting)
King of Thai
2850 Sacramento
Sac & Divis

1911 filmore
btw bush & pine
SpQR

--
Chabot Golf
12:57 PM
$78
EF9460D0

May 9
10-9pm
Luggagestargallery.org

Ellis
TL Nat'l Forrest

--
Sheepdip
-Scotch

9 21
LACK


Soda
Chips/salsa
Doritos (I needed two kinds of chips, clearly)
Rolls
Tomatoes
Pickles
Meat
Lettuce
Frozen Food
Hummus
Pita
Stir Fry
Sweet + Sour
Pot Stickers

--
West Wing Lounge

Nickle Creek

Moss Beach Distillery
140 Beach Way
L on Cypress
L at airport
R at marine
L at Beach
5:45

--

"The Only problem is, I think she's in love with me."
-"No, it takes 3 times." (Nick, then Mike)

The Palace Hotel
2 New Montgomery St
8:30 AM - 12:30 PM

ABM Exploring the Digital Revolution

Main St Station Casino

--
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was a long story."
-Nick, abou this ripped pants in Vegas



--
(The following are two opposing pages that are great next to each other)

National Air Races in Reno in Sept? "Salma Hayek Deserves her boobs." -Andy Brett Dennan "San Francisco"

Beans Lettuce Milk Eggs Raisins 747 Gayley apt 208 "You Have Wit and Word and Worth"

--

Papolote
Fulton & Masonic

Cline Mourvedre
with For Mike

Ft Mason Center
Building C
Room 205
--
"A Nap short of perfect."
-NZ, post
half marathon


pinenuts
jam
garlic
bread
G turkey
tamato
pickle
pita
tea for work
parsley


--
1968
Front Door

Pavilion Stacking wine rack (check mark)

BB + The Bop Guns

Sept 4
--
2008 Dodge Caliber

Calistoga Ranch

Calistoa hotel -
outdoor showers!
--
Belique
Pots + Pans

Tux Group #
2402346

Men's Warehouse
Before 11th

Blk K Cole
--
Twisted Merlot
Gnarly Vines Zin
181
Joel Gott Sauvingon Blanc ->Grapefruit
--
Mayer Hawthorne
"Album of the Year"

To do Thurs 10/22
email tony to ask about lastID tag
newsletter
santa fe email
write blogs
personal statement

Fri Morn Call Luc
Colin info from luc
Survey monkey

--

Yak Wellington
(III?)

"Mortified"
The Makeout Room
Diaries read as performance art

Postage Stamp Planes

--
A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline

Finos in the Andrews Hotel

(Yes, this is how it ends... for now)
--

Subject: Turducken this year?

Email from me to Mom:
I will buy this. Or at least, throw some coin down on it. TURDUCKEN!!!

"Approximately 18-20 pounds and will feed 18-22 people full with some leftovers. Each Turducken comes with a electric thermometer and alarm probe in the center of the duck breast (the very center of the Turducken), directions on how to cook it will also be provided. The Turducken comes on a bed of root vegetables with assorted herbs in a roasting pan ready to cook.

The Turducken is stuffed with a duck inside a chicken inside a turkey, all never frozen and free range. The birds will be stuffed with a chicken and duck sausage cornbread stuffing.

Each bird is $250 and we require a 50% deposit via paypal to process your order."

I'm down to get vetoed, but this comes from a very reputable butcher. it's not like the KFC experiment of 2004.

Email response from Adam (who was CC'd)
Uuuhhhhh

Email response from Mom
Why, just last night I was discussing a free-range organic turkey for this year. The subject of Turducken never came up. While I am open to new ideas and am loathe to shoot something down that I have never tried, (hence the KFC turkey), I feel that I must kindly decline the generous offer or Turducken.

I will, as form of consolation consider a duck, alongside the turkey, or, duck for Christmas dinner, or a rubber duck swimming in gravy. Turkey gravy.

I applaud your sense of adventure.

--

Do you have H1N1 or just a cold?

Do you have Swine flu? Or are you just being a hypochondriac?

Know the Difference between a Cold and H1N1 Flu Symptoms:

Symptom	Cold	H1N1 Flu
Fever	Fever is rare with a cold.	Fever is usually present with the flu in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 100°F or higher for 3 to 4 days is associated with the H1N1 flu.
Coughing	A hacking, productive (mucus- producing) cough is often present with a cold.	A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with the H1N1 flu (sometimes referred to as dry cough).
Aches	Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.	Severe aches and pains are common with the H1N1 flu.
Stuffy Nose	Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.	Stuffy nose is not commonly present with the H1N1 flu.
Chills	Chills are uncommon with a cold.	60% of people who have the H1N1 flu experience chills.
Curly Tail	A curly tail is uncommon with a cold (unless preexisting).	A curly tail is actually also uncommon with H1N1 (again, unless a preexisting condition).
Tiredness	Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.	Tiredness is moderate to severe with the H1N1 flu.
Sneezing	Sneezing is commonly present with a cold.	Sneezing is not common with the H1N1 flu.
Sudden Symptoms	Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.	The H1N1 flu has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. The flu hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains.
Bacon Craving	People with colds should give in to their natural bacon cravings	67% of people who have the H1N1 flu experience increased bacon desires.
Headache	A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.	A headache is very common with the H1N1 flu, present in 80% of flu cases.
Sore Throat	Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.	Sore throat is not commonly present with the H1N1 flu.
Chest Discomfort	Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.	Chest discomfort is often severe with the H1N1 flu.

My car is fixed...

So with much help from my dad, the Saturn rides again. We got an engine in a car that had a bad transmission (much like my car did about 40000 miles ago), took it out and put it in mine. It runs great, though the "Service Engine Soon" light came on right when I was on the San Mateo Bridge. Not entirely sure what that means, but if the car lasts me another year, then it was worth the $200 and all the fun we had swapping them out.

Though that 2010 VW Golf TDI does look exceptionally fantastic despite being surrounded by abbreviations.

My life in dreams part 1

I had a dream last night that an unidentified third party, Andy and I stole an alligator from the zoo. It actually may have been another kind of animal as we were leaving with it, but when we got to where we were going, it was an alligator for sure (I thought it might have been a crocodile, but having looked at images, it wasn't).

We put it in a rigidly square-cut dirt hole that was the same width and length of the animal, so when looking top-down on it, it fit inside snugly like a person in a grave. But the depth was the same height as the gator, so it fit like a perfectly formed ice cube in a tray. Later, my view of the hole would pan out and I could see it was in the center of a kind of bull ring, but at first we were right on top of it looking down.

It was thrashing around and slowly the perfectly vertical walls started to fall in on it, creating a ramp it could escape on.

This is when my view became much farther away.

He ran around for a bit, and may have eaten the third party. I woke up not really disturbed so much as confused because really, what the hell was that about?

--

Three for a dollar

I awoke this morning with artichokes on my mind. Which is weird. Not nearly as weird as it would have been to wake up surrounded by artichokes - a realization that made me feel a little better.

I wasn't dreaming about artichokes, you understand. But at 6:30 as soon as I opened my eyes (and experiencing a bit of an upset stomach) it was almost all I could think about. Mainly just the word and the image of what they look like.
I started thinking about artichokes as a metaphor for time, with each year being a leaf torn off the thistle. This is a frightening image if you think about it (which I did) because eventually whoever's doing the tearing will get to those really thin pedals, rip them out all at once along with the fur, causing everything to age decades in an instant, then bite into the heart which would what? End all time?

So I shook that metaphor and started to concentrate on the last time I had an artichoke. Narges' grandma gave me three this past June or so, and I cooked them up for myself, Andy and Rew. I made a Parmesan garlic butter for dipping (cause I didn't have mayonnaise) which was good. While I ate it I tried to remember the last time I had had an artichoke. At the time I may have been able to remember, I don't know.

Again, I should point out, I didn't wake up wanting an artichoke, or with an artichoke taste in my mouth. Their existence just occurred to me, is all.

--

Traffic School

This is the stupidest thing ever.

"Vehicle Code section 22106 states that drivers are not allowed to back a vehicle on a highway "until such movement can be made with all reasonable safety." Most of the time, it can't, so it's a good idea not to back up on a highway at all. The author knows how to speak French, but not Spanish. Particularly on steep downgrades, the approaching traffic, especially large vehicles that gather speed quickly, could be coming faster than you think."

This kind of thing has been in every section, and they always ask a question about it.

Dear iPod while on shuffle

I love you. Who would have thought of these songs in this order? No one but you, you magnificent genius, you.

Kings of Leon, "Wasted Time"
Rage Against the Machine, "New Millennium Homes"
Dido, "Sand in my shoes"
Gnarls Barkley, "Transformer"
Nancy Sinatra, "Bang Bang"
Korn, "Freak on a Leash"

I can't wait to see what's next.

--

You got some BALLS, La Boulange

I've never been to La Boulange before, despite the fact that they're everywhere in San Francisco.

Today, since I have a borrowed car, Narges suggested I go somewhere I can't walk to, so I made my way to Strawberry Village for my first trip the "the bakery."

I ordered an open-face club sandwich (with avocado) expecting to get something in the form of this, which I would need to eat with a knife and fork.

What I got, was a NORMAL sandwich (although with three layers). And it wasn't even cut into 4 triangles like a REAL normal club sandwich.

Don't get me wrong, it was delicious as all get out and had me licking the plate when I was done. But the point remains, I was expecting an open-face club sandwich - which would have been a radical interpretation of the traditional club sandwich composition (the aforementioned triple-decker 4 triangles). What I got was a (delicious) bastardization of the triple-decker club sandwich. In fact, this would even qualify as half-assed, since there were half as many cuts as would be required to turn it into 4 pieces.

I wish I had taken a picture, but it was so tasty, I ate it too quick.

I just inadvertently defined college life

Ode to my old, departed friend

Dear Saturn,

I paid cash for you, to a guy who was selling on behalf of his deceased mother. I picked you up in the southern part of San Jose off of Highway 85. I forget the exit now, but there was an El Pollo Loco right off the freeway.

It was Sept. 1, 2001 and I was 18 years old. I had spent the summer working on a garage for Spanish Tony around the corner, but had started at Chabot in mid August. You had 48,000 miles and a silver windshield sun-blocker that is still in your trunk. On the way home together, I was blaring the radio, and I vividly recall how funny I thought it was that I bought you from a religious person and the first song that played was “Running with the Devil” by Van Halen.

The guy I bought you from had forgotten to sign something, so on September 9, I drove back down. I returned the knitted tissue holder I found in the console, because I thought the son would want to have it. He didn’t, but neither did I. We got you registered on Sept. 10, 2001 (dad towed you back from the garage yesterday, Sept. 10, 2009).

I quickly put on the Metallica sticker, the Disturbed smiley face and the KSJO sticker (never did get flashed for Whip ‘em out Wednesday). The boys teased me about the “performance” switch ("This car couldn't do 135 mph if you pushed it out of a fucking airplane").

I tried to change your oil myself for the first year or so, but you’re so low it was hard to pull off. I needed a jack and two jack stands just to slide under.

In June of ’05 your transmission went out, probably because the guy who checked the fluid level during an oil change left the dipstick sticking out. I was in the Grapevine, on my way back down to LA. It was in the mid 90s, and after you cooled down and got a pint of tranny fluid, I drove you slowly back down the hill. At this point, you’d already been broken into four times, including the time that the guy bent your passenger-side door back to get the stereo. You still leak when it rains.

You had your driver-side window smashed, and your lock jimmied at least 8 times. You gave up three cell phone headsets, two stereos, two toolboxes, a great Gap blazer, sunglasses, my "Bleach" CD, my Mag Light and a can of Diet A&W Root Beer.

We ran out of gas twice. You got a flat on the way back from JoNelle's rehearsal dinner.

Back in San Francisco, you lost your water pump, fuel pump and there was the time your brake caliper came off and stopped my car (literally). I’m sorry about that, I should have tightened it tighter.

There was the hobo inside you that Monday morning, the checks stolen from your trunk, the ticket for running the stop sign by work and the time you got towed on that Thursday morning. You took us to Daily City BART after the concert. It’s been a big year. You became unreliable, but we had some good times.

I’ll probably drive you a few more times, but not like it used to be. We’ll fix your head gasket, but I won’t trust you to make it over any bridge. Probably, I’ll donate you or drive you into a dealership for what I expect will be less than $500 in trade-in value (BlueBook has you at $700 in “good” condition).

But Thanks Car. We had an eventful-ass eight years together.

Is that the kind that takes 30 minutes? No... 30 Minutes!?!

By coincidence, Andy and I both went to the dentist today and by obvious correlation, both of our mouths are sore. I see the thing of steel-cut oatmeal that Narges mistakenly bought a while ago and declare that I'm going to make some.

He asks if that's the kind that takes 30 minutes to make and I say no, it couldn't be that long. From the other room I could then be heard yelling "30 minutes?!?"

So now is the waiting time. I'ma put maple syrup in it (sugar was not the cause of my trip to the dentist, though I can see now how you could think that).

Another Car!

In San Diego this weekend, I had to drive my coworker's rented car down to the docs to handle some "business." While there, I got a parking ticket. I have adjusted my list of vehicles accordingly (and it was a pretty sweet ride - I officially love the sport wagon body style).

Car List

Then what's your problem?

"Stick your arm for some real fun"

We all know about the homeless man I found sleeping in my car a few weeks ago. It needed a jumpstart and smelled of hobo for days in there but just I realized it could have been a lot worse.

I'm pretty street-smart. At least, I think I am. I try to emulate my dad in negotiating the mean streets, but he's slightly more respectable and intimidating than I am (the dimples work against me in that regard... hence the beard). But when I found a syringe Wednesday on the street, I didn't know what to do. There's a high school up the street from me. I didn't want one of the kids to fall on it or something. Also, Narges almost exclusively wears sandals and I for sure don't want her to kick it with her bare toes (ahhh, bear toes!) so I had to get rid of it somehow.

But I sure ain't picking it up.

I thought about kicking it in the gutter, but the nightly streetsweeping would, with my recent luck, kick it out to the middle of the street where it would wait patiently to embed itself in my tire. I seriously considered picking it up, but looking at it puts me in a surreal mindset - it's a very odd-looking and nefarious device.

This is the kind of thing they should teach in drug education. Sure warn kids about drugs, but when you take health in college, talk about what do to if you find a syringe, or a vile some crackhead dropped on his way to or from the cluster.

I settled on kicking it into a planter box, being sure that the needle side is securely in the dirt.

Every day I walk by and look. It's still there.

Kitchen fun

What you'll need:
The meat off of two leftover barbecued (meaty) pork ribs chopped up... about two handfulls
Three gypsy peppers cut into pepper-sized slices
Half a can of baked beans
Half a bottle of beer
1/8 bottle of red wine

Put those ingredients in an oven-safe pan and simmer on the stovetop till it bubbles for a while.

Topping, what you'll need:
Half a red onion cut up and some olive oil - saute that in a pan till the onions are clear.
1-2 yellow potatoes shredded. Add that to the onions. Pepper the hell out of it and add some salt. Mix that a while and let the potatoes cook for a few minutes.



Turn off the soupy mixture and the potatoes. Gingerly layer the potatoes on top of the meat and beans and spread it out evenly. Put the pan in the oven, 450F, and bake for about 15 minutes till the top is crispy looking.

By now you've finished drinking that other half of the beer. Open another one and eat.

Don't mind if I do

The last piece of cake, the last beer in the fridge, the last of what was a dozen Buffalo wings? Yeah, I'll take that.

Someone cut up a strawberry scone in the office this morning. I had one of the first pieces to be claimed, then half an hour later there was a lonely little bit left. I swooped on it like a lion on an elderly antelope.

It was yummy and am glad I didn't hesitate like so many others would have.

And I didn't even come from a big family. Oh wait, yes I did.

That was surprisingly easy to do

me: give me a word and i'll try to work it into the story somehow

Narges: unicorn

...

The nemeses of great speakers, sadly, are multiplying every day (and of course the enemies of a decent or poor speaker are more numerous than unicorn stickers at a daycare). E-mails going off in pockets, free coffee (and the associated bathroom breaks), packed agendas, ambient noises and the ability to surf the web on a phone are all taking eyes from the front of the room and concentration off the source of the message.

A private conversation between a lovely young lady and a drunken fool

10:01 PM me: HI!

10:02 PM Narges: is the exclamation mark an indication of ur tipsy state?

10:03 PM me: which exclamation mark?

10:04 PM which is to say, probably

(redacted)

10:11 PM

me: but seriously drunk

since i got home

rum margarita and a few beers since that

10:12 PM i turned your mashed potatoes into potato soup with cheese and tomato soup

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

good

10:13 PM i meant cheese and tomato sandwich

not soup'

there was only two soups

Narges: haha

10:14 PM i wish i was there, i love drunk zac

(redacted… this is where I fall apart)

me: jahahah

10:40 PM hey

seeriously narges

i'm super out of control

i'm watching my new show "From The Earth To The Moon"

10:41 PM just the one episode

which is almost over

Narges: haha

me: i'm not goning to watchover the show

10:44 PM which is to say, I will be knowledgeable about the show... but maybe there will be some RFS seat entry beacon when they try to renter ...

hey, narges...

10:45 PM you're awesome (this is in 2009)

10:46 PM Narges: is my awesomeness somehow related to space?

10:47 PM also, whats in 2009?

10:49 PM me: i honestly have no idea

cause really

10:50 PM that is this this year

Narges: hahaahaha

me: I have no idea why i said "(2009)"

10:51 PM seriously... drunk on people drnking

good times

but not relyable people

10:54 PM Narges: k, im gonna go to bed

10:55 PM me: good call

Tonight's menu

Chopped salad with roasted peppers and tomatillo salsa dressing

Homestyle mashed potatoes

Swiss chard avec carrot

A Montreal seasoned ribeye steak with a Cabernet mushroom shallot reduction

Desert of little brownie

Paired with a 2004 Sette Fratelli Merlot of Jacuzzi Vineyards, which was purchased specifically to be paired with a steak dinner.

Salty and Sweet

I've been wavering to the extremes of salty and sweet all day. I went to bed last night a little hungry, planning on having a creative breakfast. I started with sauteed spinach, topped it with some grilled tomatoes and two eggs over easy. There was a side of potatoes and toast involved as well. You can see in the photo that I accidentally popped one of the yolks, but it was a pretty freaking sweet breakfast.

Several hours later I went to see a movie and had popcorn, which was salty. After the movie, I made coffee and wanted a doughnut to go with it, so I made that happen. About an hour later, danged if I don't want something salty. But to round the day off with a healthy close like the way it started, I had a salad, which had some salty ingredients.

There's something strange about a day where you don't have to do anything. I realize I don't have any of them coming up for probably about 6 months cause it's going to be an interesting time. Which is good, cause if I hadn't been kind of sick today, I would have found something to do anyway.

Somewhere a copy editor is laughing or crying about this

Passive voice isn't weak, it's polite

I have been bombarded with comments over the years by editors saying that the passive voice isn't the best choice (I just used it again). But it has been used deliberately and pleasantly, I feel (did it again).

Skunk, of "Elements of Style" fame said "The active voice is usually more direct and vigorous than the passive." Sounds like an obnoxious drunk to me. All up in your grill, being all vigorous.

Columbia says "Active voice makes subjects do something (to something); passive voice permits subjects to have something done to them (by someone or something). Some argue that active voice is more muscular, direct, and succinct, passive voice flabbier, more indirect, and wordier."

Sounds a lot like me actually (flabby, indirect and wordy).

And yet, I turn your attention to the writing of Mr. Thomas Jefferson: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

The above passage essentially said, "Suck it, England. We rock." And it used the passive voice (some active too, but still).

Also, for funsies, listen to "Fixing a Hole" by the Beatles with only the right headphone on. It's a kind of haunting a cappella.

"You have to update your blog now"

Yes Narges. Yes, I do.

I recently listed all the cars I've driven in my decade behind the wheel (read it here)and today added to that total. My work had a function at Cavallo Point (which is gorgeous) and needed people to shuttle guests from the airport.

Four of us were asked to help. One drove the boss' car, two drove their own nice cars (a new Saab and a BMW) and I had a car rented for me as my POS would not sufficiently impress the guests.

I was only marginally insulted for a brief amount of time, and when I drove the 2009 Lincoln Towncar I instantly got over it and wanted to be an old man or a mobster.

Talk about a nice ride. That car wants to go 80 mph, and you can't really do a lot to stop it. It does what it wants, and you're going to enjoy it while it does. Leather, 6-disk CD, seat that adjusted so much I had no idea when to stop (clearly not a genius) and a trunk that could fit my apartment.

So we're at 34. Here's hoping the rest continue to be as great as the most recent two

It's on

Cause really, who goes to garage sales anymore?

So I bought a camera on ebay. It's from the early 1960s, comes with three lenses, and will hopefully be here before my birthday next week so I can play with it.

I'm really excited about it, but I always have this nagging thought when I "win" an auction: I'm the only one stupid enough to have paid this much for this thing. Cause really, that's what auctions are based on. You and some other people want something, and the one who will part with the most money for it, gets it.

Still, I'm excited. Despite the dubious honor of my "win."

Dropped off at the pool (I'm pooped)

For the first time, in what I now realize is a really long time, I swam some laps today.

I used to swim 3/4 of a mile three times a week. This would have been in 2003 and 2004. It amounted to 40 laps, I think, and took about half an hour or so. On one occasion, I swam the full mile (to get a certificate saying that I did) and it took me just under 50 minutes.

Today I drove to the gym in Potrero Hill (got lost on the way) and did 16 laps in a little less than 15 minutes. I probably could have done a lot more if I knew how to go a lot slower, but I'm used to swimming at a certain rate and frankly, my arms and lungs couldn't maintain it for very long.

But then I was able to go in the steam room and the sauna, so all-in-all it was a good trip. I hope to return tomorrow after class, but we'll see if I'll be able to.

This is all in preparation for surfing, which will recommence soon.

My hour-long desire

I really want an old camera like my mom has. Or at least, I have for the past hour or so. Well, I've always wanted one, but it just occurred to me that I should be on the lookout for one. You know how you may come across a random garage sale some day, and you think to yourself, "I wanted something that I can only really get used but I can't think of what it is"? And you go to the garage sale and you look around and you don't see it so you don't remember what it was? Well I remember now what it is. It's a metal, fully manual camera. In the meantime, I may make a pinhole camera. that could be fun. Also, coming off spring break, I failed to do my homework tonight, which doesn't bode well for future Zac. Though in my defense, this class has been very easy from the start (didn't have to give it a lot of time early on). It's getting very late in the semester (I'm kind of over it). Also, I already did the homework, Narges (I just want to check the answers cause I feel like my calculated GDP is off target). And I really have always wanted an old camera. I'm tempted to borrow my mom's, but then if I ever get one, it'll be less fun. We'll see.
I'm on the lookout for you, camera

Andy! The Roof! The Fireworks!

In the kitchen by the window, cleaning the George Foreman, minding my own business, thinking the Giant's game ended long ago while we watched "Lost," I hear a noise.

I look to the window and push it open, letting in the chill and the same noise, a little louder this time. I yell to Andy, put on shoes and grab my camera on my way up the stairs to the roof.

Tonight was the Giant's home opener (they lost) and I knew there would be fireworks and I knew I'd be able to see them. If New Year's hadn't been super foggy (and if I hadn't been in Santa Clara) we could have seen fireworks from the Ferry Building I'm sure, but this was the first real shot at seeing them.

I love fireworks and jet airplanes. I don't know why, but Zac like big boom.

Hop in my ride(s)

For no reason in particular, I made a list last night of all the cars I've ever driven. Having spent the better part of last week driving a red Mustang convertible around, I knew it was the coolest car I'd ever been behind the wheel of, but what, I ask, was the second coolest?

Here, in no particular order at all, are the 34 road vehicles I can remember piloting since first getting behind the wheel of my dad's 1985 Ford F-150 when I was leaving the dirt-bike park 11 years ago.

2008 Dodge Caliber (rental for work)*
2008 Mustang (rental)*
2009 Lincoln Towncar (rental for work)
1994 Saturn SL2 (my car)
2000 Ford Focus (Jeff's car)*
2000 Saturn SL2 (mom's car)*
1985 Ford F-150 (dad's truck)
1992 Saab 900 (mom's old car)*
1990 Taurus station wagon (mom's old car)
1983 BMW 318i (Athena's old car)
1996 Buick LeSaber (Grandma's car - I took my driver's test in this one)*
1995 Nissan Altima (Driver's training car)*

2006 Volkswagen Jetta (Narges' car)
2008 Saturn Astra (Jon's car)
2003 Saturn Ion (Jon's old car)
1985 Ford Bronco (Nick's car)
2005 Toyota Echo (Nick's old car)
2002 Saturn SL2 (Jessica's car)
2002 Honda Civic(Kate's car)*
2000 Saturn SL (Dana's old car)*
2006 Mazda 3 (Dana's Car)
1999 Nissan Maxima (Matt's (possibly old) car)*
2004 Nissan Sentra (Mary's car)

1993 Honda Elite 80 (My scooter)
2004 Suzuki SV-650 (Mike's bike)

U-Haul (small box) to LA - June 2006
U-Haul (medium box) to Bay Area - August 2007
U-Haul (F-150) to Woodbine St - June 2006
U-Haul (F-150) in LA - Summer 2008

2000 Ford Aerostar - New Flower Van*
1990 Ford Aerostar - Old Flower Van*
Long panel van - Rented flower Van

1995 Honda Elite 50 with a broken front shock (test drive)
1996 Saturn SL2, fuchsia (test drive)
1974 Ford Bronco, so cool but gas guzzly (test drive)


*Most of the models and years are estimates as my memory is incapable of recalling things I've never known.

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner: Photos, esse

Sauteed chard with onions, garlic, garbanzos, a splash of balsamic and a splash of chardonnay. This was served with feta cheese, toasted pita, pepperchinis and hummus (I thought I had mixed Mediterranean olives, but despite being in brine, they smelled yeasty).


Entirely homemade tortilla soup (to-go version pictured below).


A bed of shredded lettuce, a sliced tomato, a sliced avocado (salted and peppered) topped with an egg over easy. Breakfast done unique (and with what was on hand).

Lesbians are very "in" right now, says 1985?

By coincidence, the last two books I've read were both written in the mid 1980s. "Jitterbug Perfume" was relentlessly recommended to me by Jon, and "Watchmen" is not only one of Time magazine's 100 best novels, it's the awesome basis for a really bad movie that just came out.

*note the obvious 80s paperback book cover design

I'm used to reading a lot of books from the same time period in succession. English 142b, for example, would have me read 10 novels published in the same decade or so in about 10 weeks (actually, I'm almost certain that English 142b was a Shakespeare class, but you get the point). When you do this, you can't help but find patterns or similarities that reveal some of the happenings of the times.

One thing that sticks out in these two books from 25 years ago is the seemingly unnecessary inclusion of minor lesbian subplots. The subplot was so minor in "Watchmen" that both of the women were cut out of the movie, and the lesbians in "Jitterbug" seemed even at the time (I read it before the comic book) to be lesbians only because it would be cool to have lesbians. And not even cool in the "that's hot" kind of way, but cool in a "I'm so edgy and topical" kind of way.

*interesting sidenote, searching Google Images for "watchmen lesbians"
doesn't get you porn till page 6

So this makes me wonder, were lesbians big in the 80s, or is this, like my reading of multiple 80s books, just a coincidence? Or were the plots somehow important and I just managed to miss the significance?

Keep in mind I'm not complaining about the plots, I'm just saying they struck me as being really obvious and not terribly organic.

Who would buy this?

Though clearly I did, I just wouldn't call it that.

From Wikipedia

Bizarro is a fictional supervillain (superhero in Bizarro World) that appears in comic books published by DC Comics.


As opposed to all the real-world super villains?

this is what my day is about now

We have advanced funds from your account(s) linked for Overdraft Protection to your Wells Fargo checking account XXX-XXX6123.

Account Source Account Number Advanced Amount
-------------- -------------- ---------------
Credit Card XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX $7,277.67

But mostly it's the checks totaling $10,700 written to Gabriel Smith and Doyle Johnson (fake names much?).

The music on the fraud report line is very peppy.

Holy Balls

I'm going to be 26 in two months. Cue quarter-life crisis... now.




Or maybe...



Or maybe...

Actually... after 5 minutes of trying to find a good picture of a drifter, I'm much better now. I'm actually quite alright with nearing my late 20s. Especially since that's still a year away.

Short-sighted pessimists

The past week, driving around San Francisco, I've seen the same thing a few times and it always makes me smile.

There's no way of knowing for sure that I've seen what I think I've seen, but I'm fairly certain I saw what I think I saw.

We've all seen the bumper sticker declaring the owner's political views by simply saying "1.20.09." Of course, there has also been, in the past 8 years, the more direct version of essentially the same message that said, "Not My President."

Well these stickers are now one week obviously past their prime, especially in this city. While 1.20.09 is still a fine day to remember, the people with the other sticker on their cars are now, pretty much screwed.

In my years of driving, I've seen a lot of super-faded bumper stickers on cars that range from super-faded to pristinely new. I can't think of ever having seen a bumper sticker that looks intentionally scraped off, and certainly can't remember seeing one that was partially scraped off.

Three times this week I've seen the sticky stuff left behind when you pull the top off of a sticker. The only thing I can think is that these people, eager to show their hatred of George Bush, either didn't think they'd ever see a president elected that was "theirs," or they didn't think their car would last long enough to see the day.

Or maybe they just never thought about how hard it is to get a bumper sticker off a bumper. Well, it's hard.

Boozin' classy like

So I've decided to start infusing alcohol with things.

I first attempted this in June when I got my job-as I'd told myself I'd make ginger tequila upon securing employment. I told myself this in January and didn't think I'd linger on the unofficial unemployment list for six months, but I did make the concoction and it was pretty good.

The only problem is, I did a full bottle, so I've still got more than half a bottle left. Variety, being the spice of life, took me away from it pretty quick.


Enter the decanters in the Ross stemware section (where I spend my lunch break sometimes). They have several very cool looking decanters for $5, but they're only 700ml causing me to not buy them and think to myself, "those aren't even big enough for a full bottle, let alone a bottle with ingredients in it."

Then it hit me. I'd been so short-sighted. I should just be doing half bottles anyway, so I can have more variety sitting around.

First up? Vanilla bourbon. And since I'll have a half a bottle left over, I may also make lime bourbon.

And what about cinnamon cocoa brandy? Or melon gin? Melon gin and tonic could get some takers, I bet. Or, since I'll have limes too, lime infused gin.


Lime has a place in every drink, really.

Notes from a small kitchen

So I signed up for a delivery service that, every two weeks, brings me a box of organic vegetables picked from a farm outside of Sacramento. I usually don't know what they're going to bring me until I open the box on Tuesday mornings (at the advice of Narges who told me "it's like Christmas") but after finishing off "The Omnivore's Dilemma" tonight, I needed to go online and see what I'm getting tomorrow (I also expect to have a busy morning at work and thought it best to get my googling of recipes out of the way tonight).

The website lists the vegetables they are going to deliver on the Friday before delivery day, which is Tuesday for the zip code where my office is located. The farm picks whatever's ripe that week, supplements it with stuff from other farms nearby (I've been getting apples and pears from Oregon, but everything else from Capay Valley) and the subscriber has to make something with the ingredients. It's a little like Iron Chef, but not really at all.

Since it's the dead of winter, it's winter produce season. Leeks, red onions, garlic, apples and pears (from Oregon), oranges, potatoes, red leaf lettuce and the like are all (except the fruit and lettuce) the kind of seasonal soup-ingredient-esque stuff I'd expect to find at a farmers' market this time of year.

Part of the goal of getting this delivery is general health. I'd like to live long and healthy, and eating fresh vegetables seems to be a good way to go about that. Also, it's an attempt at supporting local economies and good ideas. But also, it's an adventure. I've made some recipes lately and cooked with ingredients that I had never and probably would never have attempted. My mom doesn't like brussels sprouts, so I'd never eaten one in my life. But, presented with nearly a pound of them, I had to make some lightly seared and salted brussels sprouts as an appetizer one night.

My last two (and honestly, so far the only two until tomorrow morning) shipments also included kale, which has been fun to experiment with. Here's what I'm getting tomorrow (along with onions, garlic and four pounds of fruit):

	1	bu	Our Farm	Gold Chard
	1	bu	Our Farm	Bunched Collard
	1	bu	Our Farm	Nantes Carrot
	1	cnt	Our Farm	Lacinato / Dino Kale

I wanted to make roasted kale last time but used it all in a soup (which came after the appetizer mentioned above), so I'm glad I'm getting another shot at it. Carrots are awesome (I may just eat them as snacks) but I'm having an issue with the collard greens (aside from their similarity to chard and kale).

Going back to the health aspect, why does every recipe for this plant call for ham hocks? First off, while I never did before, I realize now that I have a rule against eating food the name of which I associate with loogies. Second... no. I don't want to cook with pig knuckles, or feet, or whatever the ham hock is. It seems weird, and really, wouldn't bacon be better suited anyway? It usually is.

This bunch of collard greens is going to lead us to yet another installment of Tenderloin Fusion, whereby through lack of funds, motivation or a sense of urgency we put inexpensive, lazy, or "really what difference does it make" spins on dishes from around the world. Well, so far mostly Asia, but we were bound to make it to The South eventually. It makes a kind of homonymical sense to go to Soul Food after the last attempt at Seoul Food.